Time will tell

So I sit here. I wonder what is to come of my life. Will I accomplish all that I hope to accomplish? Will I ever write my first book? Will I be a good wife and mother for the next 70 years? Only time will tell. I will not give up hope on myself I refuse.

I am still trying to change my lifestyle, not just looking to drop the excess 80+ pounds I carry on my body daily. But to improve health and life, not just for myself but for my whole family. I am trying to stay motivated enough to continue exercising and working hard on my body, but there are times like right now, where all i want to do is crawl into bed with my husband and forget about everything else.

I know not what will happen over time, but I will work continually to improve myself until I have nothing left to improve, which since I am totally imperfect will be never!

Why is it so impossible to motivate myself to exercise. It's like pulling teeth. I will find whatever else I can to do other than exercising. I need to figure out how to kick my butt into gear. I have to change my lifestyle. Not to merely look better. But to feel better. To have more energy, strength and stamina.